Goodness Wins in a Landslide

Today I am happy to bring you a piece on Gratitude written by another author: Ocean Robbins.  This is a fun article filled with lots of interesting research on the amazing benefits of practicing gratitude.  Please go here to read the article: http://www.dailygood.org/view.php?sid=380

There is one flaw in the article and it is the very first paragraph.  Here is what it says: "Our world is pretty messed up. With all the violence, pollution and crazy things people do, it would be easy to turn into a grouchy old man without being either elderly or male. There's certainly no shortage of justification for disappointment and cynicism."

This is a common misperception about our world.  YES there is a lot of ugliness and suffering in our world.  But the balance sheet of good versus evil is dramatically weighted on the side of goodness.  Each and every single day billions of acts of kindness, caring and generosity are selflessly performed by human beings.  The very reason our daily lives continue the way they do is that love is more prevalent on the planet than hate, understanding and compassion are more prevalent than violence. 

This is not a trivial point.  It matters that we all understand this.  When we walk around with the doom and gloom view that the world is a stinking mess, we are less motivated to act from the goodness in ourselves.  This negative belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  When we get clear about the truth of the situation - that love, compassion, thoughtfulness, kindness and caring are happening all around us, every minute of the day, we begin to notice those acts and to contribute more of our own.

The lens we use to look at the world has a significant influence on the way we act.  Bad news will always be prominently broadcasted by both the news agencies and individuals.  It is the massive goodness in the world that needs to be noticed, celebrated, and remembered.  Look around you today and begin to see just how loving and kind human beings are day in and day out.  This is the truth in every part of the world.

The Most Important Decision

"The most important decision we ever make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or a hostile universe."  Albert Einstein

Each of us is operating under one of these two beliefs - whether or not we have ever consciously contemplated the question.  Here is just a short list of how life shows up when you are operating from the belief that the universe is beneficent:

You see the good in others even when they are troubled or acting unkindly.

You laugh at life's little irritations.

When something goes not as you had planned or hoped, you look for the blessing in what showed up instead.

You seldom take yourself seriously.

You experience each day as an opportunity.

You expect success even when it has not yet arrived.

You give easily, knowing that the universe always gives back.

You greet strangers as though they are your friend already.

If you were to poll a group of people who believe the universe is kind, and another group that holds that the universe is hostile, you would find that each group has lots of proof for their position.  What you search for, you will find.  And what you expect will arrive.  What you believe you will perceive, and  that is how your reality is born.

And the universe is so generous that it always leaves the choice up to you.  And it always responds when you choose differently.

"The reason things always work out for the best is because this is actually the highest of all spiritual laws.  Any apparent exceptions are simply evidence that work is still in progress, whether or not it can be seen."  Mike Dooley

You Will Never Know

Do you know the power of a smile freely offered, a compliment sincerely communicated, a kindness generously extended?  No.  We can never come close to estimating the influence of goodness set loose in the world, because every one of these small gifts perpetuates itself in radiating ripples of positive energy.

When you smile and offer a heartfelt "Good Morning" to a stranger, it changes them.  It increases the likelihood that they will be more welcoming to those they meet throughout the day.  When you commit small acts of kindness and generosity, the recipients are almost always compelled by the energy of your act to pass it on in some way to another.

Every single one of us has the power to change the world.  It does not require money, or large expenditures of time.  Small acts replicating themselves in widening circles of caring can change a home, a community and the world.  Every ripple you send off  manifests dividends you will never even know about.  Don't hold back!  

Loving YOU

The last blog (1/1/13) talked about the power of letting love loose in your life.  Today I want to remind you of one very important person to include in your love fest: YOU.

Self love is as important, if not more so, than loving all others.  When you practice self love, it makes it that much easier to love the rest of the world.  So here is a reminder list:

* Think kind thoughts about yourself.
* Notice all the good things that you do and appreciate yourself for them.
* Make time to be with just you, and be wholly present with yourself.
* Do something nice for yourself.
* Laugh at yourself with love and appreciation.
* Feed yourself well.
* Put your needs first every now and then.
* Give yourself rest and sleep.
* Forgive yourself when you make mistakes.
* Take good care of your body
* Choose good friends for yourself.
* Make time to dream about what you want out of life.
* Be authentic.
* Let yourself accept the kindness of others.
* Treat yourself
* Be truthful to yourself
* Make fun time for you - do what is fun for you
* Say thank you to yourself everyday
* Love yourself in all the wonderful ways you give love to others!

On Your Sleeve

Happy 2013.

It is a new year.  I hope it is the best one ever for each and every one of us.

There is a sure way to make it so.  Choose love.  Love is the game changer.  The answer to every question.

In every situation, every interaction, choose love.  Step around upset, disappointment, frustration, judgment, anger, and criticism.  Choose love instead.  Offer love instead.

I guarantee your world/life will blossom in ways you cannot even imagine.

AND, make sure that everyone you love, care about, or appreciate hears about it regularly.  Wear your heart on your sleeve.  Let love loose in your life and 2013 will be a year to remember!!!

Wishing you peace, joy, love, laughter, health and prosperity in 2013!!!

The Reason For The Season

 

THE REASON FOR THE SEASON

Jesus is the reason for the season.  And regardless of your religious or spiritual affiliation, I highly recommend his teachings as a path to a life of peace and joy,  One of his most powerful teachings was forgiveness, and I believe that this time of year – the Joy of Christmas and Hannukah, and the coming celebration of a New Year – is perfect for practicing forgiveness.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and to discover that the prisoner was you.”  Lewis B Smeades

Resentment is a grievance or grudge held against another person.  It begins as a judgment that someone has mistreated you or behaved badly toward you in some way.  When the present time belief, feeling, or judgment that someone has done you wrong is carried into the future it becomes resentment. There are few things more treacherous than resentment.  It is an insidious poison that eats away at anyone who partakes of it, destroying health and happiness.  YOUR health and happiness.  You see, resentment is something we feel toward someone out there, but 99.9% of the ill effects of resentment are wreaked on the person harboring the resentment – not the person who is the object of the resentment.

And guess what:  It does not matter how justified you believe your resentment is – it is definitely going to diminish your capacity to be present to the current moment, diminish your ability to experience happiness, and make you sick.  Even if everyone in your life agrees that you were wronged, and that you have every ‘right’ to be resentful, YOU still suffer by harboring it. 

It does not matter how heinously you were treated by another person in the past.  As long as you hang on to that resentment YOU are the person hurting you in the present.  And the poison will seep into all your other relationships and human interactions.  

The antidote to resentment is forgiveness.  Yes, I know, how unfair.  Someone else does something hurtful, and YOU have to do the work of forgiving!  Actually, you don’t have to.  Like everything else, it is a choice.  You can go right on nurturing your resentment for as long as you are willing to reap the consequences: diminished access to your innate happiness, a compromised immune system, decreased energy, increased likelihood of heart disease and cancer, and the list goes on and on. 

 The root of “forgive” is the Latin word “perdonare,” meaning “to give completely, without reservation.”  The word was translated into German and then Old English as “forgiefan,” – meaning to give up, or allow.  In modern English forgive means to pardon, exonerate or absolve. In Aramaic the word for forgive  is “shbag” and it means to untie.

Forgiveness is the antidote to resentment, it is the path to freedom from all the ills and suffering that resentment creates.  Forgiveness is one of the most powerful life tools you will ever learn.

In our culture the practice of forgiveness most often involves one person (the one who was wronged) letting go of the ill feelings/anger that she/he has toward the person that has ‘caused’ the hurt.  When this is done sincerely and completely, the person doing the forgiving is immediately released from the creation of the ongoing harmful effects of resentment.  Note that this release occurs regardless of whether the person being forgiven ever knows about it.  It is the forgiver who is released.

Forgiveness is for YOU.  Forgiveness sets YOU free.  Forgiveness is first and foremost a selfish act.  Hooray for that!

Secondly, understand that you are forgiving the actor, the person you perceive as having hurt you.  You are NOT condoning the hurtful act.  In other words, when developing/choosing forgiveness for your former spouse who cheated on you, you are NOT making a statement that cheating is acceptable. 

It is true that if the person who hurt you is remorseful about what they did, then knowing that they have been forgiven can also be a significant release for them.  It is indeed a gift you can give another human being.  But, as the quote at the beginning of this chapter suggests, it is the forgiver who is immediately and most powerfully released from the suffering created by resentment.

When you harbor resentment toward another, you close your heart to them.  This may or may not have an impact on the person you are resenting.  It always and dramatically has an effect on you.  Any time part of your heart is closed off, you suffer.  Whether you are aware of it or not, it impacts your immune system, drains your energy, constricts your creativity and increases your ‘stress’ level.  Overall, it diminishes your ability to experience life fully and joyfully.  Most people walk around harboring multiple resentments.  Is it any wonder that happiness is so difficult to achieve? 

I am not suggesting that forgiveness is easy, only that it is very, very powerful.  As a life skill, it is one of the most transformational ones you will ever learn.  It will change you first and foremost, and that creates the opportunity for others in your life to change.  The first step is merely cultivating within yourself the desire to forgive. 

Wishing you the most Joyous of Holidays

Yes, It is Still NOW

It always will be. 

If you haven't read the previous blog about the Present Moment, please do so.  Because this blog is a continuation of that subject.

But first, I received an email from a reader last night who asked about my closing sentence of the blog: "When you can say yes to the moment at hand, and make it your friend no matter HOW it shows up, you will experience a freedom you have never imagined."  She wanted to know what that 'freedom' would look/feel like.

It feels like joy, laughter and creativity.  It feels like life is fun and easy, even when unpredictable.  It feels like you can't stop smiling.

NOW let's look at two other ways we rob ourselves of the present moment.  They are called Past and Future.  And they exist only in our minds.  Any moment that your mind is focused on the past or the future, you are not experiencing NOW.  All right, don't get your pantaloons in a twist.  Yes.  Our lives do require some planning for the future.  And yes the past can be useful as a tool, a reference for what worked and what didn't.  AND, remembering good times, good people, good experiences can be fun.  Just be aware that experiencing good times in the present is more fun and more rewarding than reliving the past.

So yes, there are those few exceptions where we use our memories of time gone by, and our imagination of times to come in positive ways.  Much more often though Past and Future are our tormenters.  The past is most often called to mind in the forms of regret, resentment, anger, judgment, and disappointment.  Dragging those feelings into the NOW does two things.  First, it releases the poison of those emotions into your mind and body again.  Second it obliterates your experience of the present moment.  The only good reason to drag those emotions/states into the present is to work on releasing them. 

When your mind and body are focused on remembered pain and suffering, you cannot experience the beauty and joy that is waiting for you in THIS moment.  Same thing with future tripping.  When our minds conjure pictures of the future, it is most often in the forms of worry, fear, anxiety, unease, trepidation.  We imagine all kinds of disagreeable or abhorrent possibilities that VERY likely will NEVER come to pass.  Yet we experience the pain and suffering of some imagined/illusory future right here in the present!  How crazy is that!!  Think about all the times you have made yourself anxious, scared, nervous, stressed out over a mental fabrication of something that never had life in the NOW! 

The present moment is our friend, and we are our own worst enemies!  We steal our own opportunity for joy and creativity and instead make ourselves sick with incessant trips to Past and Future.  You can put an end to this insanity. 

Let the past be the past.  If you are harboring resentments, regrets, disappointments - do the work to let them go.  You deserve to be free of them.

Plan for the future only as much as is necessary.  The future gets built in the present.  It is your relationship to the present that creates your future.  Can you embrace the present regardless of how it shows up?  When your answer becomes yes, you become a mastermind of the good life.

So consider this.  When you argue with what is, you lose.  Every time.  What is, already is.  It cannot be changed.  The only thing that is changeable is YOUR relationship to what is.  What you resist, persists.  It has to because you are giving energy to it.  When you cease resisting, and move into acceptance (which is the only sane approach to what already is), you create the possibility for something different to show up next.  Accept what is and imagine the next best thing you want to bring into being. 

Have you asked yourself today: "What is my relationship to this moment?"