Perfect Practice

Nearly everyone is familiar with the phrase 'practice makes perfect.'  And most of us accept it as having a high level of truth.  I learned differently when my daughter turned me into a 'sports mom.'  Basketball and track were her particular talents and she was blessed to have inspiring and wise coaches in both.  One of them introduced us to the upgraded version of practice makes perfect: "PERFECT practice makes perfect" (Vince Lombardi).

It is easy to see how this applies to sports.  Imagine a basketball player at the free throw line.  They do not just practice 50 or 100 free throws.  They practice a perfectly executed free throw.  The point is to so ingrain the mechanics of the perfect free throw, that it will be natural and easy when the game is on the line.

More importantly, "Perfect practice makes perfect" applies to the game of life and to each and every human being.  Human beings are always practicing.  Every moment of every day. Why?  Because the essential nature of human beings is evolution.  We are designed for learning and growth and expansion.  Every time we do something there is a result.  This is life giving us feedback.

This was true when we were one year olds learning to walk and it is true today.  Every step that resulted in a butt flop taught us something that eventually made us good walkers.  The reason babies and children learn so fast is that they naturally assimilate feedback.  Most adults have lost this natural attention to results and feedback. 

Human beings who are living consciously notice the feedback and use it to create something better: a healthier way of living, a kinder way of interacting with others, a more loving method of parenting, etc., a more productive work approach.  This is the process of perfect practice.  We act, life gives us feedback, we consider this new information, make an adjustment, and then go out and practice it.

Contrast this to the unconscious life in which people pay no attention to the feedback that life is giving them, or refuse to acknowledge that what is consistently showing up in their life is a direct result of their actions.  Inevitably these are the people who are continuously frustrated, annoyed, disgruntled, upset and angry.  These are the people who are stuck in 'practice makes perfect' mode.  They keep doing the same things (that are not working for them), and have perfected their dysfunctional behaviors.  

And of course, even those of us who are living more consciously have areas in our life where we do the same dysfunctional dance.  If you want to locate these areas in your life (so that you can make adjustments), just begin to notice those moments where you feel easily annoyed, frustrated or upset.  When you are easily triggered, it is a sign that you are bumping up against some behavior that you have practiced over and over again without noticing that it is not working for you.

No two basketball players shoot their foul shots the same way.  Each has to develop the perfect mechanics that work for them. So it is with practicing human beings.  It is your job to practice each day as perfectly as you can, and then use the feedback that life gives you to continue evolving your practice. What you will find is that perfection is not a destination, but a journey. A beautiful, creative, joyful journey toward the most expanded version of you that you can imagine.

ALWAYS

YOU have the power.  Every day you have the opportunity to use it.  Will today be one of those days that you choose to use your power to make a difference?

I realized only recently why we so often fail to employ this always available power.  We don't really believe in it.  We live in a culture that celebrates BIG everything: big expenditures, big achievement, big contribution.  We have gotten to the unfortunate place where we discount anything unworthy of a headline.

I have no wish to discount any goodness that deserves a headline.  The pertinent point is this: the small, often unheralded, daily acts of kindness, generosity, thoughtfulness, caring and love are making a larger difference in the world than the headlines.  

Even when you do not see an immediate result, be assured that these acts are changing the world.  Every loving, conciliatory, comforting, forgiving, kind or inspiring word or gesture makes a significant difference.  Each one changes you, the recipient, and the energy of the planet.

Every time you smile at a neighbor or stranger, hold a door for someone, allow another driver to go ahead of you, give up your place in line, say thank you, act with generosity, reach out to someone in need, withhold criticism, offer a compliment, practice random acts of kindness, lend a hand, forgive quickly, comfort another human being, or just listen with love, YOU make a difference.  YOU change the world in the direction of love.  And your act ripples outward creating waves of positive change that you will never even know about.

You have the power.  It ALWAYS makes a difference.  All you have to do is use it.

 

Getting All Those Ducks in a Row

Are you close? Do you almost have everything in your life lined up the way you want it?  Or do you still have a ways to go?  And how stressful is it trying to get everything just right?

Guess what?  Never going to happen.  Control is an illusion.  Ultimately, no matter how good you are at manipulating the ingredients of life, unexpected things will happen.  Challenges and changes that you could not anticipate, and which you think you do not want, will show up.  Little things, big things, and everything in between.

Does this mean that happiness is doomed or fleeting? NO.  What it means is that you must choose happiness first, and choose it again no matter what shows up.  This choice is your power point in life. 

Everyone wants to be happy, but most people have a detailed recipe for the experience of happiness.  In other words, we will be happy when we can check off all the required ingredients on our list.  Even if by some miracle this happens for you at some point in time, it will not last more than a nano second.  In the blink of an eye someone will be rude to you, or something will disappoint you, or you will experience loss, or you won't get what you want, or a crisis will appear.  Poof, your happiness is gone.

The path to lasting happiness, happiness as a way of life, is to toss out the recipe.  Choose to be happy, and choose it again no matter what shows up.  No requirements, no conditions.  Let nothing change your decision to be happy.  This is not a matter of putting on blinders.  Rather, it is an acknowledgment that choosing happiness is the one thing in life that is always under your control.  In the midst of life's greatest challenges, in times of heart breaking grief, happiness is still yours for the choosing.

The Biggest Decision

"I'd say the biggest decision of your life was not your career, your marital status, or your home . . . it was choosing to love as often as you have." Mike Dooley

Every true spiritual leader who has ever walked on planet earth was clear on this topic.  Love is the one true reality, and the most important decision we ever make.  It is the ultimate game changer.  If you desire any thing in your life to be different, figure out how to pour love into it.

Life is a continuous series of choices between love and fear.  Every choice for fear will bring us pain.  Every choice for love will ultimately bring us freedom.  The number of times you get to choose daily is virtually infinite.  You become a master of life when, in every moment, you are able to create the space to choose love.  No matter what the circumstances look like, there is always a way to choose love.

Wishing you a day of unbounded love and joy.

Goodness Wins in a Landslide

Today I am happy to bring you a piece on Gratitude written by another author: Ocean Robbins.  This is a fun article filled with lots of interesting research on the amazing benefits of practicing gratitude.  Please go here to read the article: http://www.dailygood.org/view.php?sid=380

There is one flaw in the article and it is the very first paragraph.  Here is what it says: "Our world is pretty messed up. With all the violence, pollution and crazy things people do, it would be easy to turn into a grouchy old man without being either elderly or male. There's certainly no shortage of justification for disappointment and cynicism."

This is a common misperception about our world.  YES there is a lot of ugliness and suffering in our world.  But the balance sheet of good versus evil is dramatically weighted on the side of goodness.  Each and every single day billions of acts of kindness, caring and generosity are selflessly performed by human beings.  The very reason our daily lives continue the way they do is that love is more prevalent on the planet than hate, understanding and compassion are more prevalent than violence. 

This is not a trivial point.  It matters that we all understand this.  When we walk around with the doom and gloom view that the world is a stinking mess, we are less motivated to act from the goodness in ourselves.  This negative belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  When we get clear about the truth of the situation - that love, compassion, thoughtfulness, kindness and caring are happening all around us, every minute of the day, we begin to notice those acts and to contribute more of our own.

The lens we use to look at the world has a significant influence on the way we act.  Bad news will always be prominently broadcasted by both the news agencies and individuals.  It is the massive goodness in the world that needs to be noticed, celebrated, and remembered.  Look around you today and begin to see just how loving and kind human beings are day in and day out.  This is the truth in every part of the world.

The Most Important Decision

"The most important decision we ever make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or a hostile universe."  Albert Einstein

Each of us is operating under one of these two beliefs - whether or not we have ever consciously contemplated the question.  Here is just a short list of how life shows up when you are operating from the belief that the universe is beneficent:

You see the good in others even when they are troubled or acting unkindly.

You laugh at life's little irritations.

When something goes not as you had planned or hoped, you look for the blessing in what showed up instead.

You seldom take yourself seriously.

You experience each day as an opportunity.

You expect success even when it has not yet arrived.

You give easily, knowing that the universe always gives back.

You greet strangers as though they are your friend already.

If you were to poll a group of people who believe the universe is kind, and another group that holds that the universe is hostile, you would find that each group has lots of proof for their position.  What you search for, you will find.  And what you expect will arrive.  What you believe you will perceive, and  that is how your reality is born.

And the universe is so generous that it always leaves the choice up to you.  And it always responds when you choose differently.

"The reason things always work out for the best is because this is actually the highest of all spiritual laws.  Any apparent exceptions are simply evidence that work is still in progress, whether or not it can be seen."  Mike Dooley

You Will Never Know

Do you know the power of a smile freely offered, a compliment sincerely communicated, a kindness generously extended?  No.  We can never come close to estimating the influence of goodness set loose in the world, because every one of these small gifts perpetuates itself in radiating ripples of positive energy.

When you smile and offer a heartfelt "Good Morning" to a stranger, it changes them.  It increases the likelihood that they will be more welcoming to those they meet throughout the day.  When you commit small acts of kindness and generosity, the recipients are almost always compelled by the energy of your act to pass it on in some way to another.

Every single one of us has the power to change the world.  It does not require money, or large expenditures of time.  Small acts replicating themselves in widening circles of caring can change a home, a community and the world.  Every ripple you send off  manifests dividends you will never even know about.  Don't hold back!  

Loving YOU

The last blog (1/1/13) talked about the power of letting love loose in your life.  Today I want to remind you of one very important person to include in your love fest: YOU.

Self love is as important, if not more so, than loving all others.  When you practice self love, it makes it that much easier to love the rest of the world.  So here is a reminder list:

* Think kind thoughts about yourself.
* Notice all the good things that you do and appreciate yourself for them.
* Make time to be with just you, and be wholly present with yourself.
* Do something nice for yourself.
* Laugh at yourself with love and appreciation.
* Feed yourself well.
* Put your needs first every now and then.
* Give yourself rest and sleep.
* Forgive yourself when you make mistakes.
* Take good care of your body
* Choose good friends for yourself.
* Make time to dream about what you want out of life.
* Be authentic.
* Let yourself accept the kindness of others.
* Treat yourself
* Be truthful to yourself
* Make fun time for you - do what is fun for you
* Say thank you to yourself everyday
* Love yourself in all the wonderful ways you give love to others!

On Your Sleeve

Happy 2013.

It is a new year.  I hope it is the best one ever for each and every one of us.

There is a sure way to make it so.  Choose love.  Love is the game changer.  The answer to every question.

In every situation, every interaction, choose love.  Step around upset, disappointment, frustration, judgment, anger, and criticism.  Choose love instead.  Offer love instead.

I guarantee your world/life will blossom in ways you cannot even imagine.

AND, make sure that everyone you love, care about, or appreciate hears about it regularly.  Wear your heart on your sleeve.  Let love loose in your life and 2013 will be a year to remember!!!

Wishing you peace, joy, love, laughter, health and prosperity in 2013!!!