Liar, liar

"This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man."  Polonius/Hamlet

By all reports, lying is epidemic in our culture.  It is often said, "Everyone lies."  People lie for many reasons: because they believe it will help them get what they want; because they fear the consequences if they tell the truth; because they want approval or love; because they do not want to deal with people's reactions to the truth; to appear 'better' than they are.

The consequences of lying often depend on the size/significance of the lie, and on whether one gets caught in the lie.  But there is one consequence that is independent of both of these factors.  Every time you lie it is a message to yourself that you are not okay, that who you truly are is not good enough.  Every lie erodes your self-respect.

This is a serious problem because your relationship with yourself is the basis, the starting place for all of your interactions in the world.  When you do not fully respect yourself, trust yourself, and know yourself to be a person of integrity, you cannot create clean actions or clean relationships.  Everything is tainted by your own rejection of yourself.  Whether the world knows or not, if you are a liar, YOU know.  And the message to yourself is: I am not good enough the way I am.

You can change this at anytime.  Start by taking stock of the things you lie about.  If you were really okay with whatever it is, you would not need to lie about it.   Your lie is a message that you need to change something.  Keep addressing these things until YOU are right with YOU.  And then you will not ever have to lie to anyone.  Your relationship to yourself is paramount.  It creates the quality of your relationships with others and the world.