Yes, It is Still NOW

It always will be. 

If you haven't read the previous blog about the Present Moment, please do so.  Because this blog is a continuation of that subject.

But first, I received an email from a reader last night who asked about my closing sentence of the blog: "When you can say yes to the moment at hand, and make it your friend no matter HOW it shows up, you will experience a freedom you have never imagined."  She wanted to know what that 'freedom' would look/feel like.

It feels like joy, laughter and creativity.  It feels like life is fun and easy, even when unpredictable.  It feels like you can't stop smiling.

NOW let's look at two other ways we rob ourselves of the present moment.  They are called Past and Future.  And they exist only in our minds.  Any moment that your mind is focused on the past or the future, you are not experiencing NOW.  All right, don't get your pantaloons in a twist.  Yes.  Our lives do require some planning for the future.  And yes the past can be useful as a tool, a reference for what worked and what didn't.  AND, remembering good times, good people, good experiences can be fun.  Just be aware that experiencing good times in the present is more fun and more rewarding than reliving the past.

So yes, there are those few exceptions where we use our memories of time gone by, and our imagination of times to come in positive ways.  Much more often though Past and Future are our tormenters.  The past is most often called to mind in the forms of regret, resentment, anger, judgment, and disappointment.  Dragging those feelings into the NOW does two things.  First, it releases the poison of those emotions into your mind and body again.  Second it obliterates your experience of the present moment.  The only good reason to drag those emotions/states into the present is to work on releasing them. 

When your mind and body are focused on remembered pain and suffering, you cannot experience the beauty and joy that is waiting for you in THIS moment.  Same thing with future tripping.  When our minds conjure pictures of the future, it is most often in the forms of worry, fear, anxiety, unease, trepidation.  We imagine all kinds of disagreeable or abhorrent possibilities that VERY likely will NEVER come to pass.  Yet we experience the pain and suffering of some imagined/illusory future right here in the present!  How crazy is that!!  Think about all the times you have made yourself anxious, scared, nervous, stressed out over a mental fabrication of something that never had life in the NOW! 

The present moment is our friend, and we are our own worst enemies!  We steal our own opportunity for joy and creativity and instead make ourselves sick with incessant trips to Past and Future.  You can put an end to this insanity. 

Let the past be the past.  If you are harboring resentments, regrets, disappointments - do the work to let them go.  You deserve to be free of them.

Plan for the future only as much as is necessary.  The future gets built in the present.  It is your relationship to the present that creates your future.  Can you embrace the present regardless of how it shows up?  When your answer becomes yes, you become a mastermind of the good life.

So consider this.  When you argue with what is, you lose.  Every time.  What is, already is.  It cannot be changed.  The only thing that is changeable is YOUR relationship to what is.  What you resist, persists.  It has to because you are giving energy to it.  When you cease resisting, and move into acceptance (which is the only sane approach to what already is), you create the possibility for something different to show up next.  Accept what is and imagine the next best thing you want to bring into being. 

Have you asked yourself today: "What is my relationship to this moment?"

The Most Important Relationships

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There are two relationships that determine most of what you experience in life:

1.  Your relationship with yourself

2.  Your relationship with the present moment

If either one of these relationships is dysfunctional, there is little hope of experiencing life as easy, joyful, fun and rewarding.  Yet most people never even think about the state of these relationships.  Consider this: Are you ever – is it even possible – to be not with yourself and not in the present moment?  Absolutely NOT!  The present moment is the only place we can ever actually be, and we are always there with ourselves. 

Of the two of these relationships, my experience of 20 plus years of coaching indicates that #2 is the most difficult one for people to “fix”.  For most people the present moment is NOT their friend.  And since all we have is the present moment, if you argue and fight with it continuously, you cannot create a joyful life.

This is how people fight with the present moment:

1.  We treat it as a means to and end.  Yes, YOU do this.  How many of your moments do you rush through just to get to some ‘future’ moment that seems more important?  Any moment you are rushing thru is just a means to some other moment.  And when you get to that moment how present are you? How many moments are you going to treat as throw-aways??? 

2.  We reject it or make it wrong.  It shows up not the way we want it to and we just want to change it, reject it, hold our breath until it goes away.

3.  We make it our enemy.  We complain about it, argue with it, blame someone for it.  Feel annoyed, exasperated, frustrated by it.

The present moment is our best friend.  It is the only place we can ever experience life and take action.  It is the only place we can create anything.  So why do we treat our best friend like it is a nuisance, a problem, an inconvenience, a burden, an obstacle, a hassle???

When you heal your relationship with the present moment, your entire experience of life will shift.  Start by asking yourself as often as you can throughout the day, “What is my relationship with this moment at hand?”  Be honest with your answer, and you will begin to see the insanity of our inability to be with the moment at hand in a welcoming manner.  You will begin to see the myriad of ways that we all make an enemy of the present.

When you can say yes to the moment at hand, and make it your friend no matter HOW it shows up, you will experience a freedom you have never imagined.

 

What’s Your Story?

You have one.  Every moment of every day you have one (many, actually).  Because human beings are story makers.  And your over all experience of life is determined by the stories you choose.  Life is made up of the simple reality of what is, experienced thru the lens of your story.

The simple reality of what is, is that you are a human being sitting, or standing.  You are a human being sitting or standing, and reading words on a computer screen.  That is it.  Until the story.  The story may be “I don’t really have time to be reading this . . . I have so much work to do . . . I am never going to catch up . . . I’m so tired . . .I should have slept more this weekend . . . but I needed to go out . . .I’ve been so stressed . . . I never have enough time to get everything done . . .why am I wasting time reading this . . .I need to  . . .

How does that story make you feel?  And notice that you believe the story – you accept it as part of the reality instead of seeing that it is an interpretation, a fabrication of your own mind, a story.  Always, in every situation, there is only simple reality (person sitting, reading words) and your story.  You can begin to discover the powerful truth of this for yourself by noticing your stories and playing with changing them.

Stories called “I have too much to do”  and “I am so far behind” are seldom pleasant, AND they are false.  What is true is that in any moment you are doing exactly what you are doing.  And in the next moment you will be doing exactly what you are doing – and the story of being behind and having too much to do is the lens that colors your experience of the simple reality of a person doing what she is doing.  Who would you be without that story?  You would be the same person, doing the same thing, but having a different experience.

Once you truly understand the power of your stories, and the fact that YOU are the one writing them, you can have whatever experience you want.  What story do you want to experience today?