LOVE

LOVE

Love is the one true reality, and the most important decision we ever make.  It is the ultimate game changer.  If you desire anything in your life to be different, figure out how to pour love into it.

Love is the very essence of life.  It is as abundant as the air we breathe and just as essential.  Love is a shape-changer.   It shows itself in a multitude of forms: kindness, generosity, compassion, thoughtfulness, caring, giving, dedication, appreciation, forgiveness, understanding, gratitude, and patience (to name a few).

Life is a continuous series of choices between love and fear.  Every choice for fear will bring us pain.  Every choice for love will ultimately bring us freedom.  The number of times you get to choose daily is virtually infinite.  You become a master of life when, in every moment, you are able to create the space to choose love.  No matter what the circumstances, there is always a way to choose love.

Many people believe that love is a rare commodity; that the planet is awash in hatred, separation and dysfunction.  This is a common misperception.  YES there is a lot of ugliness and suffering in our world.  But the balance sheet of good versus evil is dramatically weighted on the side of goodness.  Every single day billions of acts of kindness, caring and generosity are selflessly performed by human beings.  The very reason our daily lives continue the way they do is that love is more prevalent on the planet than hate, understanding and compassion are more prevalent than violence. 

This is not a trivial point.  It matters that we all understand this.  When we walk around with the doom and gloom view that the world is a stinking mess, we are less motivated to act from the goodness in our selves.  This negative belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  When we get clear about the truth of the situation - that love, compassion, thoughtfulness, kindness and caring are happening all around us, every minute of the day, we begin to notice those acts and to contribute more of our own.

The lens we use to look at the world has a significant influence on the way we act.  Bad news will always be prominently broadcasted by both the news agencies and individuals.  It is the massive goodness in the world that needs to be noticed, celebrated, and remembered.  Look around you today and begin to see just how loving and kind human beings are day in and day out.  This is the truth in every part of the world.

In every moment of every day, each of us has the opportunity to choose love.  This is where our essential power lies.  Every time we choose love, the energy of the planet shifts.  Every time we choose love our heart is expanded and our capacity for joy increases.  Like everything else in life, choosing love is a practice.  The more we do it, the better we are at it.  This is the one practice that will change your life forever. 

When love becomes your practice and your priority, you will see it everywhere.  You will feel like a blind person who has been given the gift of sight.  Don’t wait for this gift.  Choose it.  Love is the gift you must give yourself.  With every choice for love your heart will expand.  As your heart expands, everything that is not love is dissolved.  That is when true living begins.  Life is an expression of love.  Love is an expression of life. 

© Text Copyright 2014 River Cocco

 This is a copyrighted material, so please do not copy it for any purpose.     If you want additional copies to share with loved ones please contact the author at: rivercocco@gmail.com

Loving YOU

The last blog (1/1/13) talked about the power of letting love loose in your life.  Today I want to remind you of one very important person to include in your love fest: YOU.

Self love is as important, if not more so, than loving all others.  When you practice self love, it makes it that much easier to love the rest of the world.  So here is a reminder list:

* Think kind thoughts about yourself.
* Notice all the good things that you do and appreciate yourself for them.
* Make time to be with just you, and be wholly present with yourself.
* Do something nice for yourself.
* Laugh at yourself with love and appreciation.
* Feed yourself well.
* Put your needs first every now and then.
* Give yourself rest and sleep.
* Forgive yourself when you make mistakes.
* Take good care of your body
* Choose good friends for yourself.
* Make time to dream about what you want out of life.
* Be authentic.
* Let yourself accept the kindness of others.
* Treat yourself
* Be truthful to yourself
* Make fun time for you - do what is fun for you
* Say thank you to yourself everyday
* Love yourself in all the wonderful ways you give love to others!

The Reason For The Season

 

THE REASON FOR THE SEASON

Jesus is the reason for the season.  And regardless of your religious or spiritual affiliation, I highly recommend his teachings as a path to a life of peace and joy,  One of his most powerful teachings was forgiveness, and I believe that this time of year – the Joy of Christmas and Hannukah, and the coming celebration of a New Year – is perfect for practicing forgiveness.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and to discover that the prisoner was you.”  Lewis B Smeades

Resentment is a grievance or grudge held against another person.  It begins as a judgment that someone has mistreated you or behaved badly toward you in some way.  When the present time belief, feeling, or judgment that someone has done you wrong is carried into the future it becomes resentment. There are few things more treacherous than resentment.  It is an insidious poison that eats away at anyone who partakes of it, destroying health and happiness.  YOUR health and happiness.  You see, resentment is something we feel toward someone out there, but 99.9% of the ill effects of resentment are wreaked on the person harboring the resentment – not the person who is the object of the resentment.

And guess what:  It does not matter how justified you believe your resentment is – it is definitely going to diminish your capacity to be present to the current moment, diminish your ability to experience happiness, and make you sick.  Even if everyone in your life agrees that you were wronged, and that you have every ‘right’ to be resentful, YOU still suffer by harboring it. 

It does not matter how heinously you were treated by another person in the past.  As long as you hang on to that resentment YOU are the person hurting you in the present.  And the poison will seep into all your other relationships and human interactions.  

The antidote to resentment is forgiveness.  Yes, I know, how unfair.  Someone else does something hurtful, and YOU have to do the work of forgiving!  Actually, you don’t have to.  Like everything else, it is a choice.  You can go right on nurturing your resentment for as long as you are willing to reap the consequences: diminished access to your innate happiness, a compromised immune system, decreased energy, increased likelihood of heart disease and cancer, and the list goes on and on. 

 The root of “forgive” is the Latin word “perdonare,” meaning “to give completely, without reservation.”  The word was translated into German and then Old English as “forgiefan,” – meaning to give up, or allow.  In modern English forgive means to pardon, exonerate or absolve. In Aramaic the word for forgive  is “shbag” and it means to untie.

Forgiveness is the antidote to resentment, it is the path to freedom from all the ills and suffering that resentment creates.  Forgiveness is one of the most powerful life tools you will ever learn.

In our culture the practice of forgiveness most often involves one person (the one who was wronged) letting go of the ill feelings/anger that she/he has toward the person that has ‘caused’ the hurt.  When this is done sincerely and completely, the person doing the forgiving is immediately released from the creation of the ongoing harmful effects of resentment.  Note that this release occurs regardless of whether the person being forgiven ever knows about it.  It is the forgiver who is released.

Forgiveness is for YOU.  Forgiveness sets YOU free.  Forgiveness is first and foremost a selfish act.  Hooray for that!

Secondly, understand that you are forgiving the actor, the person you perceive as having hurt you.  You are NOT condoning the hurtful act.  In other words, when developing/choosing forgiveness for your former spouse who cheated on you, you are NOT making a statement that cheating is acceptable. 

It is true that if the person who hurt you is remorseful about what they did, then knowing that they have been forgiven can also be a significant release for them.  It is indeed a gift you can give another human being.  But, as the quote at the beginning of this chapter suggests, it is the forgiver who is immediately and most powerfully released from the suffering created by resentment.

When you harbor resentment toward another, you close your heart to them.  This may or may not have an impact on the person you are resenting.  It always and dramatically has an effect on you.  Any time part of your heart is closed off, you suffer.  Whether you are aware of it or not, it impacts your immune system, drains your energy, constricts your creativity and increases your ‘stress’ level.  Overall, it diminishes your ability to experience life fully and joyfully.  Most people walk around harboring multiple resentments.  Is it any wonder that happiness is so difficult to achieve? 

I am not suggesting that forgiveness is easy, only that it is very, very powerful.  As a life skill, it is one of the most transformational ones you will ever learn.  It will change you first and foremost, and that creates the opportunity for others in your life to change.  The first step is merely cultivating within yourself the desire to forgive. 

Wishing you the most Joyous of Holidays